Now, go.

From Good Experience:

“Here’s what Steve Jobs said when he addressed Stanford’s graduating class a few years ago:

…for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

And Seth Godin wrote, around the same time, about the decision you make every day:

The thing is, we still live in a world that’s filled with opportunity. In fact, we have more than an opportunity — we have an obligation. An obligation to spend our time doing great things. To find ideas that matter and to share them. To push ourselves and the people around us to demonstrate gratitude, insight, and inspiration. To take risks and to make the world better by being amazing. … You get to make a choice. You can remake that choice every day, in fact. It’s never too late to choose optimism, to choose action, to choose excellence. The best thing is that it only takes a moment — just one second — to decide.”

OOH-WEE!

I’m back!  Nuts, right?  Wow, a lot has happened in the year since I began this blog – and then ended it pretty much immediately.  My Senior year… wow.  Some of my experiences, I wish i didn’t have.  Most, I wish I could relive over and over again.  And that, my friends, is life.  I loved Cornell University.  The friends I made, I’ll never forget.

Upon receipt of this piece of paper!

I’ve decided investment banking is not for me, and I’m glad I came to that conclusion, although it was spurred only by a rescinded investment banking job offer.  Instead, I want to work in business, and work with technology, where I think I can exercise creative skills that are muted in finance.  But we’ll see; maybe even that is not for me.

I’ve also become convinced that one symptom of the deterioration of our human condition, namely the vanished respect for art, literature, and pure thinkers, is more than a symptom but also a CAUSE.  So I’ve resolved to read a lot more, learn a lot more, and think a lot more.  In that way I hope to understand humanity better.  In that way, I hope to even be able to conceive of the end-all be-all philosophical problem, which asks what the meaning of life really is.  I just ended with a preposition.  Fuck.

Milan Kundera wrote:

“And we in Europe – who are we?

I think of the line Friedrich Schlegel wrote in the last years of the eighteenth century: “The French Revolution, Goethe’s Wilhelm Meister, and Fichte’s Epistemology are the most important trends of our era.” Putting a novel and a philosophy book on the same plane as an enormous political event – that was Europe; the Europe born with Descartes and Cervantes: the Europe of Modern Times.

Difficult to imagine, thirty years ago, someone writing (for instance): “Decolonization, Heidegger’s critique of technology, and Fellini’s films embody the most important trends of our era.” That way of thinking no longer reflected the spirit of the time.

And now? Who would dare to attribute equal importance to a cultural work (of art, of thought) with (for instance) the fall of Communism in Europe?

Does work of such importance no longer exist?

Or have we lost the capacity to recognize it?

These questions have no meaning. The Europe of Modern Times is gone. The Europe we live in no longer looks for its identity in the mirrors of its philosophy and its arts.

But where then is the mirror? Where shall we go to find our face?”

Hold up.  My friend just told me to call him because he has something important to tell me.  I will return.

Edit: It was not that important.

My Name Is My Name!

Marlo Stanfield, the King.  The Wire, Season 5, Episode 9.  Sorry for the poor quality, only one up on YouTube.

In other news, here is a crappy picture from an awesome outdoor concert (on the Arts Quad) by RJD2.  Under the stars, great weather and bombass music made for a bombass time.

I’ve been loving The Cataracs, by the way.  So many tight songs, these guys really need how to get it poppin’.

Here’s a picture of what I did for a chunk of my Math class, which is one of those classes where the teacher doesn’t seem to know how to handle anything.  Making the class shitty.

Back Like Cooked Crack

Well, I’ve been away for a while, dealing with tons of crap.  I’m back at Cornell, fixing up my class schedule, planning all these career events to go to, and thinking about applying to full-time jobs for next year.  I’m also working on this book idea I had (so far I have like 2500 words of outline), and have been unpacking for six days now.

I had a blast with my Cornell buddies up in the San Francisco Bay Area, and in the words of Nick Trageser, “Now I understand why you always bitch and moan about Ithaca.”

Having my friends like my home region so much made me appreciate it even more than I already do.  California is my favorite place in the world.  Anyway, I will get this thing poppin’ again soon.  I apologize for slipping up.

Actually, I might as well tell you guys about two funny things I just had conversations about.  Kind of ridiculous.

1. We were talking about what you’d do if you committed a crime, took pictures of it, and got off scot-free, and then realized like a couple hours later that you left the camera there – say at a murder scene.  I guess we get kind of morbid sometimes.  Shayan started talking about how you’d have to go back and get it.  Imagine showing up to the cordoned off area, swarming with cops, and walking in.  “Hi, I’m, uh… I’m the police in charge of cameras.”  That was much funnier when it was actually said.

2. We were talking about if a Ku Klux Klan member tried to get his uniform dry-cleaned in a Black area, and every Black person refused (and maybe whooped some ass/killed said KKK member), the KKK dude could sue and maybe win, legally.  How horrible would that headline be?  “SUPREME COURT RULES BLACK LAUNDROMAT OWNER MUST WASH KKK UNIFORM.”  I don’t think that could possibly happen.  But you never know, in America.  Laugh laugh.

Anyway, I hope to produce some quality bloggage soon.  Brb.

Olympics + Gerek in the Olympics

Haha, Liu Xiang, where’s your hand going?  Anyway, the Olympics kicked off today.  Exciting as hell!

My mom sent me an e-mail this morning.  The subject line read only, “I cried.” In it was a link to this article about the opening ceremonies and the beginning of the Olympics.  Now, I read it, and there’s really nothing in it to cry about.  It’s a pretty basic description of the controversies around the Olympics, and the ceremony this morning.

But the reason why my mom cried, I think, is important.  She was born and raised in Taiwan, and moved to America about twenty-five years ago.  She has dual citizenship in Taiwan and America, and follows American news (especially politics) constantly while never even checking up on Taiwan’s.

Her family was poor, and is poor.  The Chinese government has done very little for them.  They all live in Taiwan, and in fact very much wish for Taiwanese independence.  I think they might actually support a war for Taiwanese independence.  My dad’s family is from China just one generation ago.  They were very rich and well off there – my grandfather was a general in the Chinese army.  But when the CPC (Communist Party of China) gained control and the Kuomintang (Nationalist Party) was pretty much getting torn up, my dad’s family had to flee.  They caught, supposedly, the last boat from the coast of China to Taiwan.  So neither parent of mine supports the CPC, or is very favorable towards China.  My mom, in fact, is starting to become more conservative in her political viewpoints and supports some things the US government does that really surprise me in terms of how American-centric they are.

My point, though, is that my parents cry because they are proud as hell of China.  They don’t love China.  They don’t vote there, they barely know what’s going on politically and socially there, they’ve been there only once in the past twenty-odd years.  But they are Chinese. And when faced with all the doubt, the confrontationalism, the criticism of China, my parents did not respond with arguments and loud, nationalistic defenses.  They kept to themselves.  But now, finally, now that the Olympics have started – and trust me, these Olympics, as I’ve said before, are going to rock – they can’t hide their emotions anymore.  China has risen from the bottom of the heap and it is soaring to the top, no matter what anyone says about the country.  And while my general perspective on international relations is that humanity would do well to end nationalism, I can’t help but understand and feel what my parents are feeling.  I have to be proud of my past, even though my ties to it barely exist.

China is a nation of 1.2 billion people.  The US has 300 million.  China’s size and geographical makeup is like that of five countries combined.  Of course China can’t follow the exact gameplan of Western nations; it’s going to try to skip the missteps and push its progression aggressively.  Call it an inferiority complex, but it is admirably ambitious.  In its past China been terrorized by Mongolians, the Japanese, and much of the Western World, to the point that it retreated into its shell and cut itself off from the world.  But China itself has not, in its modern history, invaded and occupied another sovereign nation.  It has been economically abused by foreign powers for hundreds and hundreds of years.  But China is ready now to open its country to the world.  People don’t realize that less than five years ago did China really create public markets.  The country’s acceleration has created an illusion that every aspect of its management is highly developed.  But no – China is an imperfectly great nation, with some flaws so major they just might be intolerable.  But give it time, and we’ll see how it goes.

These Olympics are China’s coming out party.  Watch and be awed.  Welcome to China.

I need to mention one more thing. My old buddy, who I rarely talk to or run into nowadays, but whose accomplishments I still follow, is competing in the Olympics in Men’s Foil Fencing.  He’s the youngest U.S. Olympic fencer in history, at 18, and he’s ranked 16th in the world.  Maybe I’m looking at the past through rose-colored lenses, but I think I used to whoop his ass when i was 17 and he was… well… 14.  Haha.  Anyway the dude is incredible, and I’m going to cheer for him, and you should all too.

Introducing GEREK MEINHARDT on the right, with our friend SHIV KACHRU on the left.  Shiv’s not going to be in the Olympics but he deserved to be in this picture, at least.  I don’t really know what they’re doing, and I hope Gerek and Shiv don’t mind I just pulled this off Facebook.

Tragedy + Justice, Stress

The charm of the rural is easily outclassed by the mystique of the urban; there is something outlandish and unfathomable in the mess of human bodies, the crowded solitude of concrete and steel, the lines that direct and define – crooked lines, faded lines, horizontal lines but best of all vertical lines, those lines that point to the sky, arrows of war.  And when the streets beckon it is impossible to resist; for the elite it is the allure of the darkness, to be a bit farther from the sun, the harsh cracked pavement a violent memorial in contrast to their slender, arched, powerful, fluid, well-pressed bodies and their hair, which even the slight breeze that breaks through the buildings that stamp and press and slam into the ground cannot disturb, vulnerable though every man may be.  And only the thundering presence of the muted and the tousled, those drenched in shadow, is art in a land where what is leering is beautiful.  The beggars, the strugglers, those who still dream and whose dreams are still dreams, and whose nightmares are dreams, and who dream that they ought not to dream, indeed they remain strapped like a bomb to a terrorist’s chest, the city is their angel and yet it will not let them free.

WATCH THIS VIDEO.

Rupture

By the way, starting Saturday the 9th I will probably not post much, if at all, for a couple weeks.  Work is over on the 8th, and I’ll be pretty busy for the two weeks before I go back to school.  Three of my buddies from Cornell are coming up from Albany, NY, Buffalo, NY, and Chicago, IL to visit the Bay Area, and two more (from Westchester, NY and Meeker, CO) are already in the area.  So I figure we’ll be preoccupied recreating the college male’s experience over here on the West Coast.

I will return shortly, hopefully with crazy and hilarious stories to tell, and many pictures in hand.

Clever Tactic + Fatally Retarded Tactic

Fake bus stop keeps Alzheimer’s patients from escaping

via Boing Boing by Mark Frauenfelder on 6/5/08

A nursing home in Germany built an exact replica of a bus stop in front of the facility.  The only difference is that buses never stop there.

“It sounds funny,” said Old Lions Chairman Franz-Josef Goebel, “but it helps.  Our members are 84 years-old on average.  Their short term memory hardly works at all, but the long-term memory is still active.  They know the green and yellow bus sign and remember that waiting there means they will go home.”  The result is that errant patients now wait for their trip home at the bus stop, before quickly forgetting why they were there in the first place.  “We will approach them and say that the bus is coming later today and invite them in to the home for a coffee,” said Mr. Neureither.  “Five minutes later they have completely forgotten they wanted to leave.”

In other news, these animal liberation people are fucking nuts.

Two University of California-Santa Cruz research scientists were targets of firebombs early Saturday, a troubling sign authorities said of escalating violence against university researchers who use animals in their labs.  Law enforcement labeled the incidents “acts of domestic terrorism.”

In the off-campus incident, a well-known molecular biologist and his family, including two small children, were forced to escape a smoke-filled house using a second-story ladder after a firebomb was intentionally set, Santa Cruz police said. One family member sustained injuries requiring brief hospitalization, and police are calling the firebombing, which occurred shortly before 6 a.m., a case of attempted homicide.

About the same time, a car belonging to a researcher parked at an on-campus home was also firebombed, destroying the vehicle.

The violence occurred four days after a customer at Caffe Pergolesi, a downtown Santa Cruz coffeehouse, found fliers listing the names, home addresses, home phone numbers and photos of 13 UC-Santa Cruz science researchers and professors. Police believe unidentified animal rights activists created the fliers, which were made to appear as “wanted posters.” They warned “Animal abusers everywhere beware; we know where you live; we know where you work; we will never back down until you end your abuse.” Santa Cruz and university police contacted most of the people on the list to warn them.

I love animals, but these guys are just out of control.  Their tactics sound like something the Joker might pull, straight out of The Dark Knight.  I don’t want to start any inflammatory debate about animal research and activists strictly against animal research, because I’m not very well-versed on the subject.  But it strikes me as – hold it, hold it – retarded that any violent animal “liberation soldiers” think they can justify trying to kill families of humans to save animals.  They are straight up terrorists, for a cause that I just don’t see as reasonable.  You might as well try to kill every non-vegan.  And in terms of how necessary animal research is, I think any violent animal research protestor should just volunteer themselves for medical research in order to save  animals, because if we didn’t test drugs on animals who would we test them on?

Rob’s Reaction + Banking for YouPorn

So the Rob mentioned in the previous post just read the whole post.  Then he said…

Rob: Yo, you said I’m conservative in it.  I’m not conservative.  I’m Rob.

Calvin: Haha, your ideas are conservative.  It’s okay.

Rob: Yeah, maybe.  I mean, I do hate gays.

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.  Such a brusque guy, that Rob.  Just to clarify, he doesn’t actually hate gays – we had a gay neighbor in our dorm freshman year and they got along fine.  Rob doesn’t like the concept of people being gay, but he’s not hateful of individuals who are.  I, however, don’t give a damn if you’re gay, though it’s definitely a strange concept to me.

Edit: My managing director at the investment bank I’m a summer analyst for just told us that a company we are working with recommended our firm to YouPorn (founded by a Stanford grad), which is looking for a bank to help them with some potential future transactions.  My managing director immediately turned down the chance to pitch to YouPorn, which is actually wildly successful and has a very high preliminary valuation.  It’s a great business opportunity, but apparently my firm can’t tolerate looking at porn as part of the due diligence process.  Hilarious.

Politics, Yo + A Little Humanism

Politicians got no problem if they not dodgin’ grenades lobbin’

Sending our youth off to war leaves two countries sobbin’

Peace to the humans who’ve been laid to rest

We say we care about each other when we only fear our own deaths

This is a conversation I recently had with my good friend Rob. Rob is pretty conservative and self-focused, so this is me spouting my social-political commentary at him. I love the sonofabitch though. I got pretty worked up in this conversation and end up sounding really harsh – just keep in mind that while I regularly slam the government and politicians, I recognize that good politicians do exist, and that government has generally been a positive social influence. I just think they’re doing much shittier than they should and could. I think we have hope, but we’re on the wrong track.

I also understand that I criticize, but I provide no solutions. If that renders my criticism useless and pointless, so be it. At the very least, it’s something to consider.

Rob: Have you ever thought about pursuing non-profit work? Or like helping people as a career?

Calvin: Yeah I’ve thought a lot about it, but I’m retardedly too selfish to dedicate my life to that. I’m super hypocritical about it. I want to change the world.

R: Yeah I’m selfish, too.

C: At the same time I just think I wouldn’t have enough effect, so I say “fuck it.”

R: But I want to do good stuff, don’t you want to?

C: Of course.

R: One thing I learned this weekend was like, people don’t do anything – most people, anyway – because they don’t think they’d have an effect.

C: People don’t do shit, and they most likely won’t have an effect.

R: But if everyone thinks that way, nothing will happen. One person can do a lot, no?

C: No.

R: How about a group of people?

C: You either need everyone to be good, or everyone will be selfish. If even a few people are selfish and everyone else is good, people will stop being good.

R: Yeah.

C: Slacker syndrome. Kind of like why communism hasn’t historically worked. People are evil and fucked up dude, think about it. Our whole life, we struggle to be good. We are bad things; we fuck everything up. Even the entire earth.

R: Damn, dude, you’re pessimistic.

C: Like dude, who ever though that humans would destroy our entire planet. And look at Africa.

R: Yeah.

C: 99.99% of impoverished, malnourished, diseased Africans deserve better. They deserve just what we have, as much as we deserve it – but they got fucked. You and me, we just got lucky we won the birth lottery and were born in America.

R: But things are changing; people are trying to make change against the odds. Look at Black Americans – you could’ve said the same thing. Then the Civil Rights movement came about, and Martin Luther King happened, etc. Shit changed for them.

C: Yes but not nearly enough. Black people are now half a white person instead of not a person at all. Asians are like 2/3 a white person. That’s all that happened; Blacks have by no means been successful in American society. Only a very small number have, and so people think that they’ve been getting more and more progressive.

R: 9 out of 10 Blacks live in poverty.

C: And more Black males are in jail than in college. And their chances of going to jail are absurd.

R: It’s like Immortal Technique says, dude. He says in a song, something like “You say we came so far,” and like “Our people’s history started with slavery.” That’s deep.

C: Yeah. Look how fucked up people are, it like frustrates me. They enslaved other people! How is that at all not completely fucked up? An entire nation decided to enslave another nation’s people. And we love to kill people, and we love war, man. We have no problem sending soldiers to kill others.

R: That is super fucked up.

C: It’s been fifty years since Blacks got any real rights. It’s going to take like 300 for them to be equal to Whites, and that’s assuming a ton of shit goes their way. And that’s if we’re not all dead by then. America is done in a century, man. I’d put money on it if I could.

R: Maybe. Happened in Europe.

C: Yeah, because the government is retarded and shortsighted. Senators are in office for six years, presidents for four years. Do you know how stupid that is?

R: I agree with you. But like, we criticize the government, and that’s like a person saying “You can’t fight for shit” to someone who lost a UFC fight. But that dude wasn’t in there fighting. And anyway, like if what you say is true, it’s sad… what are our kids gonna do? I think there’s hope, man. At the very least, people can do something, if people come together.

C: Government is bullshit. Term lengths are so short that we switch focus ever 4-6 years. Presidents spend longer and more effort on their campaign strategies than they do actually effecting change in the Oval Office. We have diametrically opposed parties fighting each other like it’s a sports game. And sure, that’s like saying to a UFC fighter, “Hey, you suck,” even though he’s a fighter and you’re not. But the institution of government is just bullshit – they have all the power, and they wield it how they like. It’s not very different from religion; in fact, government is a form of religion. Or it might be, someday, like 1984 or something. People are obsessed with these party-based conflicts, these sports matches, these adversarial political battles. For that matter, how can there be only two parties? Every person is unique and different, and has different values, yet we constrain ourselves to these two parties that have significantly different life views, most of which we condense down to a couple issues – abortion, the death penalty, welfare, taxes, etc. You can’t just be a Democrat, or a Republican. You’re so much more. And like, if the popular vote goes 50/50, our country takes a direction that half the country doesn’t want it to go! There’s something inherently wrong with that. Every single person is an Iliad-sized novel in terms of his or her emotions, life story, etc. And it sucks that people don’t realize that, and that they’re willing to discount people on a daily basis so easily. A government should be a moral leader, not a policy maker only, and not a machine of politics where influence and special interests and lobbying and money can change the course of a nation.

R: Dude, I never thought about parties like that. You might be right about that. You might be right about people, too. Like, one person can’t do anything, because he will fail. But if a lot of people got together, they could encourage each other, and stay the course.

C: Well, people have the ability to do good, but there’s too much shit in the way nowadays. I said all people are bad, but I think they want to be good. I said that the government is like a religion. But I don’t respect the government nearly as much as I respect religion. Even though sometimes I find religion to be annoying, Christianity, Islam, every religion out there is awesome. Because at their cores, they are a collection of a ton of people who want to be good, you know? Even though sometimes they’re not actually being good, and I think that’s a function of them having a wrong goal for humanity. Everyone wants to heal the world, make the world a better place. But I think we need to make us better, make humanity better. People need to recognize we are all in this together, and we need to look out for every single one of us. Not each of our nations, or each of our religions. John Lennon and shit.

R: Does progress require enemies and competition, though? If you can’t make enemies, would anything ever get done?

C: I don’t know. But how much does it matter that we are achieving progress? Is the purpose and course of the human race directed towards achieving progress? I don’t know the answer. What if we were all in the Stone Age but peace reigned and everyone was happy, is that worse? I think progress implies more people are happy, and I just don’t see that as the case nowadays. Progress needs to happen together, because while we are all different and unique, at our very human cores we are all the same. Certain emotions affect us all identically. Sergey Brin is dropping $35 Million to go fly out to space, and that’s a drop in the bucket for him. But if his girlfriend left him and he loved her, he would be as devastated as you, or me, or any one who is in love. I think, anyway. Maybe I’m wrong.

R: Alright, I gotta go. Let’s continue this later.

C: Yeah. Yo, you’re right though, that even if I’m right in being pessimistic, it’s better to be optimistic. Try to make a difference. Let’s change the world.

R: I’m gonna go golf.

C: Peace.